


Not Easily Conquered: A Love Letter

by Dangerdragons



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), not easily conquered- fandom
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Freeform, Love Letters, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Pining, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucky - Freeform, direct quotes from NEC in it!!, go read not easily conquered if you havent, heavily inspired by not easily conquered, i wrote this at 4 am, not really NEC compliant but its good, sort of a meta love letter to NEC, the thirteen letters- but its bucky's thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29019885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dangerdragons/pseuds/Dangerdragons
Summary: A love letter to the fanfic series "Not Easily Conquered", written from the perspective of James Barnes.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 5





	Not Easily Conquered: A Love Letter

**Author's Note:**

> All credits go to Not Easily Conquered, especially the authors dropdeadfears and WhatAreFears. This series emotionally destroyed me, and I wrote this to cope. Here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516 
> 
> Have fun! Final quote from The Thirteen Letters, letter 13.

Sweetie, I know I died screaming.  
Icarus did too, remember that?  
Crazy bastard got too close to the sun, and so did I.

Such is life.

I see Zola every night, in what's left of my dreams. It always plays the same way - I'm on the table, and he's injecting me with Nicolas Cage knows what. Yet, he always asks me about you. It's never the good things. It's never about the newspaper in your shoes or the constant fights with bullies or nicolas cage forbid the time you got pneumonia and we all thought the worst. It's never about the you I know. It's always about Captain America, the big bastard. Always about the shit thing they injected you with.

I always say the same thing. Name, rank, serial number- it doesn't matter.  
He doesn't deserve you, not the you I know. Hell, I don't deserve you either.

Sister Catherine told me I was a stone cold sinner when I was eight, and there was nothing I could ever do about it. Reckon I couldn't do much now either. You are the world to me, and I don't deserve you, for you are the light and I am the snowy shadow three steps behind you, never leaving you alone. You are my Garden of Eden, and I would walk through hell and New Jersey to reach you. Ave Maria, keep Stevie safe from harm, Gratia Plena, keep his soul light and free. Pray for us sinners, but keep my Stevie, the one who fought so hard to live, safe from everything.

Let Nicolas Cage forget me, if it means saving you.

Nicolas Cage knows what I've done, and I sure ain't going to heaven. I'm a killer, a liar, and a cheater, damn it! The draft letter I got went up in smoke- you didn't deserve to see that. I was given a one way ticket out of our Brooklyn shoebox, and it killed me to leave you behind. If Nicolas Cage gave the wise men their wisdom, then I must be a reckless fucking dumbass for leaving. We've been inseparable since birth; and I've loved you just as long. Womb to motherfucking tomb, sweetheart. 

You have always been my sun; my true fucking north. Let me tell you a secret. After the table, the doctors offered me a discharge. I was injured in the head. I said no; I couldn't leave you alone in the trenches. Want another secret? I was too goddamn afraid to leave you. All I saw was those beautiful blue eyes and that sugar spun mouth bleeding out in the trenches alone. One of us was doomed to live, and it wasn't going to be fucking me, I'll tell you that. I wasn't going to send you back to that goddamned shoebox alone, as I'll always be with you. I'll be with you until the end of the line. 

I guess we both died in the end. You were stuck alone in the world, and I was stuck in the ice. The history books lost me in the shuffle, and you were the martyr, lost in your own story. I don't care what the history books say.

I won't be in the history books; that's for you. But I loved you first. As long as they get that right, I don't care what they say.


End file.
